What Do I Want?
I feel as if I’ve gotten bigger or something, it’s hard to describe…..there is just more of me now. I don’t know where I was before, but more of it is here now.
And I find myself pondering on what it is exactly that I want for and in my life. I have been thinking and working on that pretty intensely for a couple of years so it feels much closer.
I’m looking into an amazing sunrise coming up through old Oaks and feeling bigger than the life I have created. There is the feeling of excitement and potential and I don’t know what to do with it.
Soon, I’ll be pulled into the daily rituals, breakfast, shower, and so on. Mind numbing rituals designed, I think to keep me from thinking or being in the moment.
And there it is………fear of (fill in the blank)………what would I do with unlimited potential? How could I handle that much power? Who and what would I be?
I’m turning it over to a higher power than my small self.
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You have voiced what was in my heart today. I am looking to the new year with great enthusiasm. I feel I have learned and grown a lot these last two years, but then I find myself wanting to pull back away from it, unsure of what more growth would look and feel like. It is an internal tug-of-war. And then suddently life happens right in front of me (usually in the form of my children drawing me out of my reverie with something mundane) and I am forced into the present moment, letting all that fear disolve into foggy nothingness. Yes, I’ll turn it over to that higher power too, and pray that I follow the flow of divine will. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Namaste.