Sue Moon’s Blog

Discourses and musings from a second Saturn return

Archive for August, 2006

Ain’t Love Grand

I had such a gift given to me yesterday I am still basking in its glow.  A dear old friend that I had lost connection with through various changes in both of our lives and several misunderstandings and miscommunications, came back into my life.

The healing balm of love is like no other.  I thought I had lost her as a friend and had been sad about it for years.

Serendipitously (what does that tell you?) I was invited to a lunch that she was at and we proceeded to connect and talk after all this time.  The things she told me made me cry, right there in public, and we deeply re-connected at a sidewalk café.  We then proceeded to walk around the Old Market, talking, laughing, shopping, saying the healing words that lifted us both up out of all the past illusions that had kept us apart.

I am absolutely glowing.  And that really hit home with me about this love stuff.  We hardly know how powerful it is because we let it slip into disrepair.  What we call love seldom hits the mark.  I think love is wildly happy and deeply sad and so infinitely filled with forgiveness it will make you giddy and dance and jump in the air.  Love has life in it!!  And ain’t that just grand!

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September astrologically for you!

Wow! This is a big month with two eclipses, one Lunar on the Full Moon in Pisces on the 7th, one Solar in Virgo on the 22nd and the Fall Equinox and Pluto going direct! Mother McCrea where are you?

No only that but Chiron (wounded Healer) is triggering the intense healing of old wounds.

So much Virgo stuff abounds that you will have to heal that body/mind thing.

Evolution is intensified this month. There is that Saturn (limits, stern teacher) in opposition (duking it out) with Neptune (spiritual and no boundaries-get used to it!)

Anarchy may be necessary.

Big highlights for you for changing old patterns that no longer serve you. If you resist, well, remember what the Borg said, “Resistance in futile”………the Borg are here and you will be assimilated (ascended-expanded) so much more than you thought possible.

These monthly Astro-Bytes for you individually have become very popular because they are so right on.

I need your birth time, place, date I will email your report to you

May the force be with you………………………

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As Above So Below

That statement makes me a little spacey.  And it brings up all kinds of questions about what is above??  Why are we below??

So I have to expand my consciousness to wrap around statements like that.  Then I begin to feel the multi dimensional gravities of many planes of existence, this one being just that, a plane of existence.  Consciousness desires to grow and evolve.  Coming from infinity we have little choice about growing and evolving.  Choice being our free will.  However the compelling nature of change does not allow us to remain stuck for too long.  And I am thankful for that.

As I journey thru my lessons like everyone else here I now cooperate a little better.  I spent a great deal of time/energy/life force attempting to do it my way.  And I doubt that I will give that up completely, but it does feel better to occasionally let the flow carry me along without having to struggle quite so hard.

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Miserable or Happy?

Thus ye may find in thy mental and spiritual self, ye can make thyself just as happy or just as miserable as ye like.  How miserable do ye want to be?                                                                       Edgar Cayce Reading   2995-3

I love these Edgar Cayce quotes, they usually show up with exactly what I am working on in my life.

For today I am faced with two of those decisions that I wonder how I will fit into my life.   One is an old issue on an intimate family level the other is a decision that is huge on the career level.  Both of these decisions will add to my best qualities as a human and be a great help in my evolution.  They both require intense discipline, changing daily schedules and a lot of energy output.

As I think about these two choices I am on the fence looking to one side and seeing that old friend fear…. and to the other side I see and feel happiness and expansion.  You would think the choice to feel fear or happiness would be an easy one and of course I would choose happiness.

But I am on the fence still and sometimes it is easier not to change, not to make the effort and stay small.

I am deciding now that I will do the family change and I choose to do it with love, excitement and optimism-phew!  That feels better!  The career one, I’ll think about that next week.

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Loved Ones

What would our lives be like without our loved ones?  And how do we keep the love in these relationships?

I had a lot of loved ones around me before I graduated from high school and moved away.  Through distance, time and deaths the family dynamics changed radically.  The ones left aren’t so easy to connect with in a real way.

That is a struggle for me.  My current family doesn’t like confrontations within the family; they want everything to be “nice”. They don’t want you to think anything is wrong.   I never really fit in with that.  I have retreated from “real” love in these relationships.  I don’t rock anybody’s boat very often, but we also don’t have a very close family.

It takes a lot of energy to keep a loving relationship going.  A lot of compromise, understanding, fun times and a desire to be around each other.  I find in my family an unwillingness to change, or rigidity in thoughts about each other, that does not allow love in.

I do believe that there is love in there, but when it has an agenda it becomes something else.  A controlling love.

And it is funny, people think I have a close and loving family.  People see what they want to.

I want to see what is real.

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Depth Dwelling

Sometimes when I get caught up in the rush of the daily to do’s, I wonder where fun is.  Why isn’t my life more fun?  Maybe I don’t really want it.

I remember several quotes about things like being the peace you seek, giving out what you want so that it will come back to you etc.  I get it at the time and then slip right back into the old patterns.

It is becoming a lot more difficult for me to judge anyone or thing under the self scrutiny I find I am in this summer.  I am just like everyone else.  Change is just as hard for me as anyone.  Making myself do certain things that I know I need:  exercise, vitamins, spiritual practice is difficult this week.

Do I want to be happy then, not sure I’m willing to put so much effort into change right now.  I’m peering into myself and it is impossible to see it all.  Looks like billowing colorful clouds of changing emotions and thoughts…..depths that go somewhere I don’t know…..I find that I am a very complex personality and have been my own best friend and worst enemy and the places I see inside of me are exciting and very scary.

This being in the moment thing is not easy and a lot scary.  Accountability for all the actions/thoughts and so on leaves it right here on me.  If I want to be happy I need to make that happen.  So, perhaps today I would rather just be intensely seeking.  And that feels pretty good.  Depth perception, I like that, last night I told a friend I was into depth dwelling.  Going down deep inside and bringing my depths out into the light.  Do I want to be the way I have been for years?  Can I make these huge changes now?  Some of them I can, I see a few that are pretty daunting that may have to be dealt with tomorrow.

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Meanderings

Where am I amidst these energies of thought, emotions etc. today.  It reminds me of how important it is to actually align myself with what the day has to bring…..not what I have planned.

Work looms before me, speaking engagement, teaching a class, but all of me wants to be somewhere else.

How do we balance our lives?  Why does discontent create this dissatisfaction with what we have set ourselves to do?

Discordant vibrations seem to be coming from a sense that I have to do certain things.  Hmmmm.

Looks like I’m lost in foggy thinking, must be that Neptune squaring Mercury aspect I have going for a couple of years.

Fog clearing, I’ll just go do the job stuff and treat myself tonight to a long walk in the woods.

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Free Will

Many times in my life I have felt abandoned and betrayed.

Due to my intensive self-analysis at this time, I find that the only one who ever abandoned and betrayed me was myself.

Because I am listening to my life now I cannot lie to myself and I really get that this life is constructed by me for me and nobody else has anything to do with it. Free will, gratis God.

None of my relationships, none of the people, places and so on, “do” anything at all to me or for me. It is an energetic dance of my thoughts creating a reality all around. And what a beautiful, intricate dance we all weave individually and collectively in and out, ebb and flow………….I touch on the sense of separate and same and feel completely connected to a source. Small and big at the same time.

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Judgments

I’m a people watcher.  And as I wake up to myself more on a moment to moment basis I am shown quite a variety of my thoughts.   While at the zoo with my grandson and thousands of other people I was happily watching this person and that, creating what I thought were their stories etc….and I briefly felt like I was inside this young woman, hearing her thoughts and seeing the world as she did.  It was a sobering experience.  She was about mid-20’s, short blond hair, a child or two and overweight.  For just a few seconds I felt how other people’s thoughts about her weight were hitting her like little silver needles.  Judgments about how she looked etc. were all over her and I wondered how she could even breathe and I felt what effort it took to even go out in public.  She was not happy most of the time and very irritated by the judgments of others.  I was so happy to be out of her thoughts that I immediately felt love and compassion flowing to her and I apologized in my mind.  Like most of the other people, I too had thoughts that she should lose weight etc.  And quite frankly, as I honestly look back now, most of my thoughts about other people had been pretty negative that day and filled with judgments of one kind or another.

When I opened my email bag and found this quote below from Edgar Cayce I decided to make my spiritual lesson this week to think consciously and not automatically.

“Learn the lesson well of the spiritual truth:  Criticize not unless ye wish to be criticized.  For, with what measure ye mete it is measured to thee again.  It may not be in the same way, but ye cannot even think badly of another without it affecting thee in a manner of a destructive nature.  Think well of others, and if ye cannot speak well of them don’t speak!  But don’t think it either!”     Edgar Cayce Reading 2936-2

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Out of Balance

“Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
He who gives up freedom for safety deserves neither”.

-Benjamin Franklin

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about everything; the world, our country, cities, farms, people, families and such.

I was thinking about cookies and pop and what an impact they have had on our society.  Holidays are for treats, holidays and special occasions.  Every summer when it gets really, really hot, there is nothing like a Pepsi over cold ice.  I have one every year.  During Christmas, what could be better than the old family recipes of fudge, divinity, Christmas cookies etc.  I wait eagerly all year long for those treats.

Indulgences make the body soft and weak.  Just like a country that gives up freedom for security.  When the body gives up staples (whole grains, vegetables, fruits) for treats (sugar, fats, white flour) it cannot do the job required; a strong immune system, a happy mind, all parts in balance.

You could say our bodies are a reflection of our country.  Too many treats and not enough staples.

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Teachers

Thank God for the talented teachers.  They are like milestones on our path.  Remember the first one you loved?  Remember the one you didn’t love but you learned so much from?

Anyone can be a teacher.  It’s the gift of your knowing going into the fertile ground of one who is receptive/awake.

Reminds me of the parable about seeds falling on good soil or rocky soil;

Same seeds – same truth

Good soil – open mind

Rocky soil – no germination

Being in the teacher role for years I am very aware of the lessons that come my way through teachers of every kind.  Family, friends, books, nature, spoken words, driving, shopping, chance encounters, my body, my thoughts ad infinitum.

Today I am fertile soil.

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My Prayer

Mother/Father God, surround us with the Light of the Christ and the Holy Spirit for guidance and for protection. Any of our angels or higher beings of Light who wish to be here today for guidance, are invited in and thanked deeply for all of their support and assistance.

It is my intent that no harm ever be caused, that we remain mindful of the destinies of all on the planet from the greatest to the smallest, and that we sit in judgment on none of it.

I also ask that our wills be aligned with Divine Will and that Divine Will be done.

So be it………………………………..And so it is!

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Community

I was very blessed as a child in the early ‘50’s. No TV yet, no video games etc. We played outside even in the rain, inventing elaborate games and fantasies. We all knew each other. Families were a strong unit….the neighborhood was tight. There was a feeling of safety and freedom that I haven’t seen in a long time, or felt. I barely know my neighbors anymore. We are all so busy rushing off to this appointment or that task. And seldom do I see anyone walking. Some people walk for exercise, but I don’t really see anyone walking for the fun of it like we used to do.

My early childhood memories are strong; I knew my family loved me. I loved being around them and hearing the family stories while we prepared food or cleaned up. Always that sense of togetherness while talking and doing tasks. On my Grandmother’s 80 acre farm in Nodaway, we would sit in the kitchen and snap beans, or make pies, fry chicken, while the separator on the back porch produced the creamiest milk you would ever taste, I could go on and on. Those memories are like sweet wine.

Because of the foundational sense of belonging in the families at that time, there was also a sense of community. Of being involved in a similar way with neighbors, people in town etc. I don’t see too much of that anymore. Isolated patches here and there, but not the larger way it used to be.

Lately I have the sense that this spirit of community is making a come back. That makes me so happy. There are organizations popping up around sustainable living communities and more. I’m still dreaming of an agrarian community for my own life. We’ll see who else wants to do that.

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What is important? Why isn’t my life working?

I have to laugh at the above questions.  It really wasn’t all that long ago when I was asking those questions.

The more I fretted and worried and watched in disbelief as my life crumbled down around me, the harder it was to see a way out.  I felt like I was in some archetypal forest with sharp tree branches tearing my clothes and scratching my body and face, it was cold and rainy and so dark.  Where was I to find refuge?  Why wasn’t anyone there to see my plight?  Why was this going on for so long?  Where was my family?

Sort of like the “unutterable groaning” talked about in the Bible, I believe.  That certainly sums those years up.  The biggest fear at that time was there would be no way out and the rest of my life would flow down into quiet desperation.

I love the clarity that comes after those dark passages.  How fulfilling the quiet morning is.  How rich the exchange between two people.  How full life really is.

So now I have come to the point in my life where it is “working” and what is important are the daily moments of joy.  As I focus more on the unseen I see at last that what I was seeking externally is now being filled internally.

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The Sweetest Place

There is a place so sweet I wonder why I don’t go there more often.

As I was sitting on the patio this morning gazing into that amazing woods with the sunlight streaming down through hundred year old Oaks and younger Black Walnut trees; a few of those old scenes from the past started marching before my eyes.  It was almost as if I could reach out and touch a few of the people I have loved in this life.

One of them in particular was a person I had wanted to do things differently because I just knew he would have been a lot happier if he had done it my way, the better way.  As I focused on him several other people associated with that memory also became quite vivid.  Gazing at all of them in my minds eye, almost like they were with me, I asked for their forgiveness for anything I may have said or done, through my own ignorance or pain that caused them suffering.  I asked for their forgiveness and they gave it.  I could feel it like a warm butterscotch thick and sweet energy.

As we shared this moment of loving I also forgave them for any harm they may have caused me through their own ignorance or pain.  That energy was like someone opening a floodgate and the waters poured out as did the tears.

I automatically then turned my thoughts to myself.  And in any way at all I may have caused harm to myself through my ignorance or pain, I forgave myself.

This morning has become an amazingly sweet place of quiet joy and peace.

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August Monthly Reading

How will August shape up for you astrologically? There are many powerful aspects this month, all designed for our higher evolution, if we take the opportunities presented. Of course, we don’t have to. We can try diligently to remain the same, sort of like putting a size 7 shoe on a size 8 foot……almost works!! The main theme this month is- are you following your path with heart? Are you having fun yet?

It is time to let go of what is not serving us and forge new paths. You may even find a new path that has been patiently waiting for you to discover it. It is now the time to trust your intuitions about everything in your life, even which road to take home.

I love to offer these monthly astrological readings as they are very concise-to the point and happening now.

August Monthly Reading

$25, after I receive your check and your birth data I will email your report back, or we can even talk on the phone.

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True Happiness

On my quest for true happiness I have been sorting through old boxes and drawers, pulling out remnants of the past and asking myself, do I use this?  This elimination process has been going on now for three years.

At the same time that I have been eliminating “stuff” from my life, I also have been looking much closer at my relationships to the external world and internal.  Many externals have fallen away as have so many patterns for living that I thought were vital.

There is a feeling of space inside of me now.  I find that makes me happy as I can breathe easier and there is room for expansion.

As I sit and contemplate my life, it isn’t at all what I thought.  I seldom seek outside of myself anymore for things to make me happy.  My interior space has expanded greatly and I go there to see and fill up with energies of true happiness and more.

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The Stars

What wonderful bodies of light energy we so little understand.  Swirling in space- our perceived Universe- timings so precise-so much we miss.  Combinations, shadings, the intricate dance of conjunctions, oppositions, squares, trines, sextiles, it’s a mathematical paradise or paradigm of changing energies.

How will these influences affect today?  Where will my thoughts take hold?  Which side of the Moon will I take?  The Dark or the Light?

When I expand my mind out into these heavenly Bodies, they sing to me and I am immersed in the stretchings and groanings of their effects.

Today is the Full Moon (emotions) in Aquarius along with Neptune (Revealing that all reality is an illusion) and also Chiron (the Wounded Healer) in Aquarius.  Today old wounds that you may not have healed will be revealed giving you the opportunity to change.  Aquarius wants to make sure you like where you are, if you don’t it will be torn down and replaced with anything that enhances your personal freedom.

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Today

Today I am going to practice more of what I preach.

So, if I am in the store and there is a rude clerk, I am going to shower her with compassion and humor.

If someone cuts me off on the interstate, I am going to slow down and move over, giving them the room they need and I will do it in an understanding manner, I’ve been angry too.

When I chauffeur an aging parent today, I’m going to match her mood instead of trying to make her something she doesn’t want to be.

I’m not taking my cat for granted today.

I’m breathing today and waking up into every moment I catch.

Today is just a fine day and I think I’ll take it.

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Change

It isn’t enough to think change might be a good step in taking us away from our dissatisfactions.  I have certainly tried to make changes in my life without removing or adding anything….just thinking about what I don’t like all the time doesn’t create a change…..it becomes a stuck energy with no life flow to it – no chi.

For change to occur we need to replace our old habits with ones more in line with where we want to be.  If I want a life that is more loving, I need to be more loving.  If service is important to me, I need to be of service.  If I want to be happy, I need to help someone else be happy too.

That means we have to hold ourselves accountable and be present when the opportunity to choose a different way presents itself.

Just shuffle your life and pull out different cards to play with.

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